I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
