You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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