He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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