I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
