i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
