i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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