my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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