I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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