well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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