the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
