If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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