If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
