hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
