Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I had to cum in my sink.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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