So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
