So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
