This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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