just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
