I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
