he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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