i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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