i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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