you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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