My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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