I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
