Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
