Duck Duck Cougar?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
