Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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