Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
