I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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