I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
third nipple confirmed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
