all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
