Its about making memories worth repressing
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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