let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
