he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
