For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
