The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I still have a little drunk in my system
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
