we made out on top of his cat.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
