she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
