Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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