I want to stick my p in your. b.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
