i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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