Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
