The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
