I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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