Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
