sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
