I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
