What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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