we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
