I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
