Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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