do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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