I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
