any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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