I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Randomize
