He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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