Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
