I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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